I am the mom of teenage boys. If you read this magazine with any regularity you already know this. This story is not true but I really wish it was.

I am a BAD MOM. I make my kids clean their rooms, participate in sports, get good grades, make their own lunches, and (my worst crime) make them leave their friends to go on vacation (gasp). I wish I lived in a house where I paid no rent, made no meals, and had no chores to do. Then I remembered mommy jail.

 

Mommy jail is where BAD MOMS, like myself, are sent for their crimes. Mommy jail has yoga and Lattes and hot showers and no one yelling at you through the bathroom door that you moved their whatever, and you need to come help them find it immediately. Here is the thing about mommy jail…no time off for good behavior. If you are good you get to stay. If you fight, wear clothes with stains on it from your children, don’t  leave your hair in a pony tail, or don’t sleep 12 hours,then they send you back home.

 

Mommy jail is my happy place. I fantasize about that moment when the mommy police come to the house and hear my litany of sins, as compiled by my teen sons. They then take me by the hand and lead me off to mommy jail. As we arrive at mommy jail my stained clothing from taking out the garbage, washing the dishes and making dinner are taken and designer duds of the softest material are handed over. Slippers so cushy that you sink into them up to your ankles and clothes that look like a designer suit but feel like sweats and a tee shirt…maybe feel like yoga pants. Yes Yoga pants. Because everyone at mommy jail is relaxed and happy and can do the downward dog and exalted warrior. Breakfast, lunch, AND DINNER magically appear right when I begin to feel hungry. Nail polish never chips and mani pedi’s are mandatory weekly. I never have to stop watching Bravo to run a forgotten lunch to school or pick up a sick child that will puke in my car.

 

Ahhh mommy jail. How I love thee.

 

 

Say Your Piece

comments

About The Author

My kids are finally all in High School. One is driving. I am FREE! I want to discover all there is to do and be now that the vomit diapers and carpool are over. Let the ADVENTURE begin!

60 Responses

  1. Siobhan

    An intriguing discussion is worth comment.
    I do think that you ought to write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo
    subject but usually people don’t speak about these topics.
    To the next! Many thanks!!

    Reply
  2. 1

    I simply could not depart your site before suggesting that I extremely loved the standard info a person provide to your visitors?
    Is going to be back incessantly in order to check up on new posts

    Reply
  3. ​mouse click the next document

    Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

    Reply
  4. buy mink lashes

    This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.

    I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of
    your great post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!

    Reply
  5. onesies for adults

    Hey! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site
    with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely
    loving the information. I’m book-marking and will
    be tweeting this to my followers! Fantastic blog and great design.

    Reply
  6. Michele

    After looking into a number of the articles on your website, I honestly like your way of blogging.
    I book-marked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back in the
    near future. Please check out my website too and let me
    know what you think.

    Reply
  7. teen onesie pajamas

    I’ve been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this
    kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled
    upon this website. Reading this information So i’m glad to
    show that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed.
    I so much undoubtedly will make sure to do not fail to remember this web site and give
    it a look regularly.

    Reply
  8. Stefanie

    I’m gone to say to my little brother, that he should also
    pay a quick visit this web site on regular basis to obtain updated from hottest news.

    Reply
  9. cheap mink eyelashes

    After going over a few of the blog articles on your web page,
    I truly appreciate your technique of blogging. I saved it to my bookmark
    site list and will be checking back in the near future.
    Please check out my website too and let me know how you feel.

    Reply
  10. Christine

    Hey are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get
    started and set up my own. Do you need any html coding knowledge to make your own blog?

    Any help would be really appreciated!

    Reply
  11. Dorisclasp

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captchas solving of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? You can find a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    See you later!

    XRumer201707

    Reply
  12. Steventek

    Write My Paper – EssayErudite.com

    Looking for an expert to write my paper for you? You are at the right place.
    Providing superior writing service appears to be our main specialization and passion.
    Our website is the best destination for every English-speaking student who calls for assistance when handling his or her daily academic tasks.

    Reply
  13. WriteEssay

    Write My Essay – EssayErudite.com

    Fed up of typing “who can write my essay” in the search bar?
    Would you like to have a reliable helper always by your side?
    Our website will come as an excellent solution to write my essay

    Reply
  14. Flossienuary

    Absolutely NEW update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captcha solution of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another types of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? There are a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    Good luck 😉

    XRumer20170725

    Reply
  15. Flossienuary

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM package “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captchas regignizing of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another categories of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? You can find a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    Good luck 😉

    XRumer20170725

    Reply
  16. Flossienuary

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM package “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captchas breaking of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another size-types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM software: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? You can find a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    See you later!

    XRumer20170725

    Reply
  17. Flossienuary

    Absolutely NEW update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captcha breaking of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another size-types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM software: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? There are a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    Good luck 😉

    XRumer20170725

    Reply
  18. EssayPaper

    EssayErudite.com is the web’s leading provider of quality and professional academic writing.
    When it comes to essay writing, an in-depth research is a big deal. Our experienced writers are professional in many fields of knowledge so that they can assist you with virtually any academic task. We deliver papers of different types: essays, theses, book reviews, case studies, etc.
    We have thousands of satisfied customers who have already recommended us to their friends. Why not follow their example and place your order today?

    Reply
  19. Donnaneova

    Yesterday i got some shocking info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna buy it. But i need a quality, some premium omega 3 fish oil. I’ve got this carlson omega 3 . What do you think about this Carlson brand?

    Reply
  20. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some cool info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not really sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna buy it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  21. PearlHieds

    Day ago i got some interesting info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not absolutely sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna buy it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  22. PearlHieds

    Day ago i got some shocking info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and now i wanna purchase it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  23. PearlHieds

    Day ago i got some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna purchase it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  24. PearlHieds

    Day ago i read some shocking info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna purchase it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  25. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some shocking info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not really sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to buy it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  26. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some interesting info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not absolutely sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i want to buy it with lowest price. Any idea?

    Reply
  27. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM package “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captchas solution of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another categories of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM software: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? There are a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    See you later 😉

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  28. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captchas solution of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? You can find a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    Good luck!

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  29. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captcha solution of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another size-types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM software: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? You can find a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    Good luck 😉

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  30. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i got some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not really sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and now i want to get it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  31. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captchas breaking of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another subtypes of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? There are a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    See you later 😉

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  32. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captcha recognition of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another size-types of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? There are a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    See you later!

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  33. CarolynLab

    Absolutely NEW update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captchas solving of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another subtypes of captcha,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? There are a lot of introducing videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    See you later 😉

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  34. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i got some cool info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not 100% sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i want to get it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  35. CarolynLab

    Absolutely NEW update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil 3.0”:
    captcha solving of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another size-types of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM programms: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other software.

    Interested? There are a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    Good luck 😉

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  36. CarolynLab

    Revolutional update of SEO/SMM software “XRumer 16.0 + XEvil”:
    captcha recognition of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another types of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
    You can connect XEvil 3.0 to all most popular SEO/SMM software: XRumer, GSA SER, ZennoPoster, Srapebox, Senuke, and more than 100 of other programms.

    Interested? You can find a lot of introducing videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
    See you later!

    XRumer201708

    Reply
  37. PearlHieds

    Day ago i read some shocking info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not absolutely sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna purchase it with lowest price. Any idea?

    Reply
  38. PearlHieds

    Day ago i read some amazing info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not really sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to buy it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  39. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some shocking info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and now i wanna purchase it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  40. PearlHieds

    Day ago i got some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i wanna purchase it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  41. check out the post right here

    I just want to tell you that I am just new to blogging and certainly liked your page. Very likely I’m going to bookmark your blog . You definitely come with really good posts. With thanks for sharing with us your web-site.

    Reply
  42. PearlHieds

    Day ago i got some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not really sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i want to buy it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  43. a fantastic read

    I just want to tell you that I am newbie to blogs and seriously loved this web blog. Likely I’m going to bookmark your site . You amazingly come with fantastic stories. Regards for sharing your website.

    Reply
  44. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i got some amazing info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not 100% sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i wanna get it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  45. PearlHieds

    Day ago i read some cool info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna buy it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i wanna purchase it with good price. Any idea?

    Reply
  46. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and currently i wanna buy it with lowest price. Any idea?

    Reply
  47. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some shocking info about Omega 3 stuff and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not really sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to get it with lowest price. Any idea?

    Reply
  48. Going Here

    I just want to mention I am just very new to weblog and seriously liked your web page. Almost certainly I’m planning to bookmark your blog . You definitely have superb writings. Thank you for sharing with us your website page.

    Reply
  49. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i got some cool info about Omega 3 foods and now i really wanna buy it. But i’m not really sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to get it with best price. Any idea?

    Reply
  50. PearlHieds

    Yesterday i read some shocking info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna buy it. But i’m not absolutely sure which benefits will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i want to purchase it with lowest price. Any idea?

    Reply
  51. discount ralph lauren mens polo

    I have not checked in here for a while since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

    Reply
  52. ręczniki

    Thank you for some other great post on BLOGURL. Where else may merely anybody get that kind of information usual perfect manner of creating? I have a presentation thursday, and I am to the search for such material. NAME

    Reply
  53. dani

    “Wonderful work! This is the kind of information that are meant to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on Google for now not positioning this put up higher! Come on over and seek advice from my website . Thank you =)”

    Reply
  54. frotte na metry

    Your pieces can in no way be anymore amusing mainly because it really kept my eyes stuck towards BLOGURL. You have incredible talent and are also fortunate to be blessed with such great trinkets. Anticipating your next product. NAME

    Reply
  55. tkanina ambasador

    Hi this is kind of of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.