I may have mentioned my bestie Agent Bad A$$ a time or two. She and I are usually up to volunteer for each others shenanigans I mean adventures. This past weekend was no different. After having lunch on Monday we decided that it would be “fun” to take our kids ice skating on Saturday. This idea came about because the Tech Monkey has fallen in love…with Hockey. Three months ago he decided to learn to ice skate and then learn to play ice hockey. This wouldn’t be so weird except we live in a place with no snow or ice EVER. But hey, it isn’t the craziest idea I have ever had, so I let him run with it.

Back to my story. Agent Bad A$$, is married to a hockey player/firefighter ( hot right?) and I have not ice skated in 35 years but we still figure we have what it takes for a few hours of ice skating. Saturday rolls around and  Agent Bad A$$, The Tech Monkey, Tech Monkey’s best friend, baby Bad A$$, his friend and I arrive at the skating rink. After a couple of falls by me we all wear ourselves out and have a great time.

Next day the two old ladies wake up in a world of soreness. I frankly didn’t know I had muscles in some of the places that I was sore. But again this didn’t deter us. NO. That kind of thinking is for other people. Lesser mortals than she and I. We decide that I need to buy ice skates. Agent Bad A$$ of course already owns some. And while we are at it maybe we should join a hockey team, because heck I still have all my teeth.Old Bitches

Then I come up with an even BETTER idea. We should start our own all girl team. Call ourselves the Old Bitches. (I could work out a lot of aggression playing hockey.)  The OB’s for short. Our Jerseys would have to be RED of course. With a tampon on the front. Our slogan can be “Go Ahead! Pull My String.” If we only played once a month(wink) we would be sure to kill the competition.  The OB’s could be sponsored by Bath and Body Works. You know how stinky the locker room would be otherwise? Speaking of the locker room, there would have to be cosmos and manicurists waiting for us when we finished a game. (Just because we are Bad A$$es doesn’t mean we don’t want pretty nails thank you very much.)

Now Agent Bad A$$, who mind you, suggested I buy my own skates and started me down this road of greatness, upon hearing my awesome idea, says to me “Maybe you should just get skates first before you take the Hockey world by storm.”

I really thought she would be down for this.

Say Your Piece

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About The Author

My kids are finally all in High School. One is driving. I am FREE! I want to discover all there is to do and be now that the vomit diapers and carpool are over. Let the ADVENTURE begin!

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